Procrastination and Authenticity
The Hidden Battle Within
We think of procrastination as laziness, a lack of discipline, or an inability to manage time. But for me, and I suspect for many of you, it’s something far deeper. Procrastination isn’t about forgetting deadlines or losing track of tasks. It’s a subtle act of self-preservation, a way to protect the most vulnerable parts of us from the terrifying prospect of being seen.
I’ve built a career on being visible. I lead, I teach, I speak with authority. I coach high-impact executives to step boldly into the next chapter of their lives. I write with conviction, encouraging my readers to claim their authentic selves and break free from expectations. You may see me as fearless, and in many ways, I am.
But here’s what you don’t know.
Beneath that confident exterior lives a part of me that still hesitates. That questions. That delays. There have been countless moments in my life where I’ve stood on the edge of an opportunity only to step back. I told myself I wasn’t ready. I needed more time. I had to perfect the plan before I took the leap. I convinced myself that waiting was wisdom, but in truth, it was fear.
Procrastination, for me, is the illusion of safety.
When I delay acting, I’m shielding myself from the risk of failure. From the sting of rejection. From the unsettling possibility that I might not measure up to the high standards I’ve set or, more importantly, in my case, what others expect from me.
And it’s not just the big moments. It shows up in smaller, quieter ways. The email left unanswered because I’m unsure of the exact right words to use to respond or how it will be received. The idea left unshared because I fear it might not resonate. The project postponed because success might mean stepping into an even bigger arena where I’ll be even more exposed.
A Morning Wake-Up Call
Each morning, I read from The Pivot Year by Brianna Wiest. I highly recommend this for anyone wanting a mindset shift that creates better versions of themselves. A few days ago, the morning inspiration hit me square in the gut.
"Comfort becomes a vice when what is familiar becomes the only thing
that feels possible."
That line stopped me cold. I thought, “Wow. She’s speaking to me.”
And then came the second hit:
"Comfort becomes a vice when it does not help you face your fears,
but run from them... FOREVER."
Oh, man. That line didn’t just make me pause. It made me gasp. I read it aloud several times, voice cracking, tears filling my eyes. “YES! Oh yes!” was all I could say.
Comfort as a Trap
I realized that procrastination is often disguised as comfort. We stay where it’s familiar, where the risk is minimal, and where we can maintain the illusion that we’re safe. But, as Wiest points out, comfort, when unchecked, becomes a trap.
It’s seductive because it promises security. It tells us that if we just wait a little longer, we’ll be more prepared. It convinces us that now isn’t the right time, that there’s more to learn, and that conditions must be perfect before we act.
But “later” is a lie.
When I Chose to Risk It Anyway
I’ve taken risks before, stepping out of my comfort zone, even when I wasn’t 100% sure I could succeed. I took a risk when I submitted my essay about living single to HuffPost. I took another risk when I agreed to have it published for the world to see. That essay was raw, personal, and unapologetically me. Letting the world read it felt like standing naked in the spotlight.
I took a risk when I started Fearless Authenticity, pouring my heart and soul into building a space where others could embrace their truth. And I’m taking another risk now, opening it up to paying subscribers and launching a new offering: Fearless Connections.
Here’s the truth: I don’t feel 100% ready for this next step. I’m not sure I’m the person who can make it wildly successful. But if I don’t try, it will be lost.
And I’m not going to let fear stop me.
Because I’ve learned that growth doesn’t happen where it’s comfortable. It happens in the space where we step out, uncertain, vulnerable, and ready to take the next step, even if we’re not sure where the path will lead. It’s that proverbial unlit, wooded path. We can only see as far as our flashlight will allow but we keep stepping forward anyway.
Authenticity and Risk: Two Sides of the Same Coin
Procrastination and authenticity are deeply intertwined. To be authentic means to be seen fully, unapologetically, and without the masks we so carefully construct. But being seen also means being vulnerable. It’s standing before the world, flaws and all, and saying, “This is me.”
That level of exposure is terrifying. It’s one thing to perform, to lead, to take the stage when I’m in control of the narrative. It’s another to step into unknown territory where the outcome isn’t certain. where I can’t predict how others will receive me.
And that’s where the procrastination creeps in.
We put off what matters most not because we’re lazy, but because doing the thing that truly reflects who we are means risking rejection, judgment, or worse, indifference. The stakes feel too high.
But here’s the paradox: when we delay stepping fully into who we are, we aren’t protecting ourselves. We’re betraying ourselves. We’re denying the world the impact we were meant to make.
The Cost of Delay
I can look back now and see the moments I let slip away because I was waiting to feel “ready.” Opportunities that aligned perfectly with my purpose, but I hesitated. I doubted. I told myself I needed to perfect things before taking the leap.
And every time I delayed, I was choosing comfort over growth. I was opting for a false sense of safety rather than trusting that I already had everything I needed to succeed.
The truth is, I didn’t need more time. I needed more trust.
Trust in myself.
Trust in my voice.
Trust that failure wouldn’t break me but shape me.
The Fear of Public Failure
For someone who thrives in leadership and who loves performing and engaging with people, you’d think I’d be immune to the fear of public failure. But the reality is, it’s still there, lingering just beneath the surface. I’ve learned to navigate it, but it never fully disappears.
That fear whispers, “What if they don’t get it?”
“What if I pour my heart into this and no one cares?”
“What if I try and fail... and everyone sees?”
So, I put things off. I hesitate. I convince myself that waiting is a strategy when, in reality, it’s self-protection dressed in productivity’s clothing.
Procrastination is a Thief
Here’s what I’ve learned: procrastination is a thief. It steals our time, yes, but more importantly, it steals our authenticity. It robs us of the chance to step fully into our power and leave the mark we’re meant to leave.
It whispers that “later” is safer, but “later” often never comes. In the waiting, we lose the very thing that makes us unique: our willingness to be seen as we are.
Breaking the Cycle: Progress Over Perfection
If I’ve learned anything, it’s this: Authenticity doesn’t wait for the perfect moment. It doesn’t care if you feel 100% ready. It asks only that you show up. Imperfectly. Honestly. Courageously.
And. It’s. Never. Too. Late.> NEVER.
At 61, I’m learning, still, to trust that progress matters more than perfection. To take the next step, even when the path ahead isn’t crystal clear. To remind myself that my worth isn’t tied to the outcome, but to the act of showing up and being real.
And so, I invite you to do the same.
What have you been putting off?
What part of your authentic self is waiting in the wings?
What impact are you delaying because you’re waiting to feel “ready”?
Don’t let procrastination steal your authenticity. Take the risk. Trust that you are enough right now, exactly as you are.
Because the world doesn’t need the version of you that’s waiting for perfection. It needs the version that’s ready to show up, flaws, fears, and all, and say:
“This is me. I’m here. And I’m ready to make a difference.”
A Deeper Dive
The Authenticity Challenge
Objective:
Uncover where procrastination is keeping you from stepping into your authentic self and take one intentional action to move past fear.
Step 1: Name It
Ask yourself:
What is something I’ve been putting off that matters deeply to me?
Is it sharing an idea? Submitting a project? Starting a new venture? Speaking up about something I care about?
Action:
Write it down. Don’t overthink—just let your intuition guide you.
Step 2: Uncover the Fear
Ask yourself:
Why have I been delaying this? What’s the fear beneath the hesitation?
Am I afraid of rejection? Failure? Judgment? Not being “good enough”?
Action:
Write down the fear that’s keeping you in place. Be honest with yourself. Naming the fear takes away its power.
Step 3: Reframe the Narrative
Ask yourself:
What’s the worst that could happen? And… what’s the best that could happen?
If I take this step and it doesn’t work out, what will I learn? If I succeed, how will it feel?
Action:
Write both outcomes down. Acknowledge that growth happens whether you succeed or stumble.
Step 4: Take One Bold Step
Ask yourself:
What is ONE small, courageous step I can take today to move closer to this goal?
It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to move you forward.
Action:
Commit to taking that step within the next 24 hours. Write down what you’ll do and when you’ll do it.
Step 5: Reflect and Celebrate
After you take that step:
Reflect on how it felt. Did the fear lose its grip? Did you feel more empowered?
Action:
Journal for 5 minutes on what shifted within you after taking action. Celebrate that you chose authenticity over comfort.
Optional Reflection Questions for Sharing
Share your reflections in the comments:
What was the fear holding you back?
What step did you take toward your authentic self?
How did it feel to move beyond the comfort zone?
Final Thought:
“Authenticity begins when you take one brave step toward who you were meant to be. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Create it.”
Daily Mantra
Carry this mantra with you throughout the week, especially when facing challenges:
“I choose progress over perfection, trusting that every step toward authenticity brings me closer to who I’m meant to be.”
Repeat this mantra whenever you need a reminder of your inherent value and the richness of your life experiences.
As you continue to navigate social expectations and personal choices, remember that your path is uniquely yours. Embrace the journey, celebrate your accomplishments, and surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Join me each Sunday at 10:10 a.m. ET for inspiration, encouragement, and community. Why 1010? In numerology, 1010 symbolizes new beginnings, spiritual awakening, and the realization of our potential.
Paid subscribers! Our first Fearless Connections meeting is coming this Saturday, April 5, 2025 at 10:10am. Watch for details and a meeting link this week.