The Art of Dating Yourself (this is not about age)
Another Path to Self-Care Through Creative Discovery
"In filling the well, think magic. Think delight. Think fun. Do not think duty. Do not do what you should do—spiritual sit-ups like reading a dull but recommended critical text. Do what intrigues you, explore what interests you; think mystery, not mastery." — Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way
In the rush of our daily lives, we often forget one of the most important relationships we have. The one with ourselves. While many of us have explored various self-care practices, Julia Cameron's concept of the "artist date" offers a refreshing perspective. This isn't just another item on your self-care checklist; it's a necessary ritual for nurturing creativity and reconnecting with your authentic self in a world that often makes us feel guilty for prioritizing our own needs.
I believe creative self-dates are not optional. They're essential. Especially when you're navigating the unknown territories of your potential.
What Is an Artist Date?
An artist date is precisely what it sounds like: a planned outing where you take yourself on a date. Cameron describes it as "a block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist."
These dates are meant to be solo adventures, free from the obligations, expectations, and distractions that come with social interactions.
The purpose? To fill your creative well. To give yourself the space and freedom to explore, observe, and absorb. To listen to the quiet voice within that so often gets drowned out by the noise of everyday life.
This isn't about productivity. It's about presence. Not about becoming someone new, but about returning to who you've always been.
And remember, you don't have to be an "artist" as society defines it. We are all creative. We are all artists in our own way. This practice is for everyone who wants to reconnect with their innate creative spirit.
Why Solo Creative Dates Matter
In a world that values productivity above all else, taking time for seemingly "purposeless" creative exploration can feel indulgent, even selfish.
NOT TRUE!
This practice of stepping away and inward can make us more present and effective in all areas of our lives.
When we dedicate time to our inner artist, we:
Reconnect with our sense of wonder and curiosity
Break out of repetitive thought patterns
Discover new sources of inspiration
Develop a deeper relationship with ourselves
Practice the art of paying attention
Most importantly, we give ourselves permission to exist beyond our roles and responsibilities. We remember that we are not just workers, parents, partners, or friends—we are also observers, dreamers, and creators.
My Journey With Artist Dates
My practice of artist dates has become a cornerstone of my creative and emotional well-being. It all began when my nephew gifted me "The Artist's Way" the Christmas before COVID. Little did either of us know that this book would become one of the best gifts I've ever received, arriving just in time for a period when the world would slow down and many of us would be forced to see ourselves in new ways.
What felt like a global loss became, in some ways, a personal liberation. That pause gave me back to myself and opened the door to the most meaningful creative practice of my life.
Each week, I gift myself these pockets of solitude and exploration, and each experience brings me closer to my authentic self.
One of my favorite artist dates is taking myself to the movies with a large buttered popcorn. There's something magical about sitting in a darkened theater, immersed in a story different from my own. The act of showing up for myself, of saying "you deserve this experience," becomes a powerful affirmation.
Long walks have become another cherished ritual. With no destination in mind, I allow my curiosity to guide me, noticing details I'd ordinarily miss like the particular quality of light filtering through leaves, the rhythm of my footsteps and breathing, and the unexpected chalk art brightening a forgotten corner.
Sometimes, my artist dates are as simple as a solo drive with nothing but my thoughts and the open road. Other times, they involve sitting with a puzzle, letting my mind work in patterns rather than words, or losing myself in the meditative flow of knitting. I've even rediscovered childhood joys through adult coloring books and paint-by-numbers, reminding myself that creativity isn't about perfection but presence.
Playing my flute, an instrument I once set aside as "impractical," has become another way I honor my creative spirit. The music doesn't need to be perfect; it simply needs to exist.
The Gift of Time: Making Artist Dates Accessible
One of the most beautiful aspects of this practice is its flexibility. While Cameron suggests two hours weekly, even twenty minutes of intentional creative time can work wonders. The key isn't duration but intention.
Artist dates don't need to be expensive, either. A visit to a library, a walk in a different neighborhood, or time spent watching clouds from your window, or sipping tea on a blanket in your backyard or at the park, can be just as nourishing as a trip to a museum or a concert.
What matters is that you show up for yourself consistently, creating a sacred appointment that you honor as you would any important commitment.
Fearless Authenticity Through Artist Dates
Perhaps the greatest gift of artists dates is the pathway they provide to fearless authenticity. When we regularly spend time with ourselves in this intentional way, we become better acquainted with our true preferences, desires, and creative impulses.
Away from the influence of others' opinions and expectations, we can hear our inner voice more clearly. We discover what genuinely interests us, not what we think we should be interested in. We remember what brings us joy, not what impresses others.
This practice gently challenges us to move beyond the scripts we've been given about who we are, what we like, and how we should spend our time.
With each artist date, we reclaim another piece of our authentic selves.
The Ripple Effect: Self-Care Beyond Guilt
What begins as a simple practice of taking yourself on weekly creative outings gradually transforms into a profound journey of self-discovery. This isn't just another self-care trend—it's a sustainable practice that addresses our deeper needs for creative nourishment and authentic connection with ourselves.
As you consistently show up for yourself in this way, you'll likely notice subtle shifts in other areas of your life:
You become more attuned to your authentic desires and boundaries
You grow more comfortable with solitude
Your creative thinking expands beyond designated "creative" activities
You develop a deeper appreciation for the ordinary wonders of daily life
You become more present in all your relationships, including the one with yourself
In a culture that often equates worth with productivity and makes us feel guilty for taking time for ourselves, these artist dates become an act of gentle rebellion. They declare that your relationship with yourself and your creative spirit matters, not for what it produces, but for its own sake.
I believe:
Every creative practice is a living story, not a checkmark on a to-do list, but a narrative arc.
Self-care isn't about becoming someone new; it's about returning to who you've always been.
Creativity doesn't end with adulthood; it evolves into impact, influence, and legacy.
As Julia Cameron wisely observes, "Art is not about thinking something up. It is about the opposite, getting something down." Artist dates help us get out of our thinking minds and into our experiencing selves, where creativity naturally flows.
So this week, I invite you to begin. Take yourself on a date without the guilt that often accompanies self-care practices. Remember, this isn't selfish, it's essential. Give yourself the gift of time, attention, and creative nourishment in a world that rarely encourages us to do so.
Your authentic self, the one that exists beneath roles and responsibilities, is waiting to be rediscovered.
Let's craft the story only you can tell, one guilt-free artist date at a time.
A Deeper Dive
Beginning Your Practice
If you're inspired to begin your artist date practice, here are some suggestions to get started:
Schedule it. Put your artist date on your calendar and protect that time as you would any important appointment.
Go alone. The magic of artist dates lies in solitude. This is time for you to listen to yourself without filtering your experience through someone else's perspective.
Follow your curiosity. What has been calling to you? What places, activities, or creative pursuits have you been curious about but haven't made time for?
Start small. If a two-hour weekly commitment feels overwhelming, start with twenty minutes. Consistency matters more than duration.
Release expectations. Your artist date doesn't need to produce anything tangible. Its purpose is the experience itself, not what you create from it.
Notice resistance. If you find yourself making excuses to skip your artist date, get curious about that resistance. It often signals that this practice is exactly what you need.
This work is personal. For me. For you. For all of us daring to live from truth.
Daily Mantra
Carry this mantra with you throughout the week, especially when facing challenges:
"I honor my creativity by showing up for myself, without guilt and with open curiosity."
Repeat this mantra whenever you need a reminder of your inherent value and the richness of your life experiences.
As you continue to navigate social expectations and personal choices, remember that your path is uniquely yours. Embrace the journey, honor your truth, and celebrate every step forward—big or small. Surround yourself with people who see you and support the life you’re building.
🔔 Join me here each Sunday at 10:10 a.m. ET for a moment of reflection, inspiration, and fearless connection.
✨ Why 10:10? In numerology, 1010 symbolizes new beginnings, spiritual awakening, and the realization of your highest potential.
💬 What’s one truth you’re reclaiming this week? Hit reply or leave a comment—I’d love to hear from you.
Until next time,
Stay bold. Stay true. Stay fearless.
Thanks. Sounds like a good plan for me!