The Unexpected Gifts of Being a Late Bloomer
Why Your Unconventional Timeline Is Actually Perfect Preparation
At 61, I find myself in the most extraordinary place: feeling like my life is finally beginning. Not winding down, not settling into some predetermined path others might expect at this age, but truly starting. After months of laser-focused work on my writing, I completed my 12-step authenticity series.
I've reached what some might call a stalling point. Not sure of what is next. But I looked for new inspiration in old drafts I had disregarded for one reason or another and found something that has helped me see it differently. Perhaps this isn't stalling at all. Perhaps this is a move toward something new. A space I have been working towards.
My mother used to remind me regularly that I was her late bloomer, and she didn't mean it as a compliment. The youngest of four and the only girl, I flitted from one interest to the next with what must have seemed like maddening inconsistency to someone who was very practical and practiced.
Through five and a half years of college, I tried on majors like clothes—law, business, telecommunications. I finally settled on psychology while earning a dual degree in telecommunications. I was too close to finishing the Telecom degree to abandon it altogether. Yet, in my final term, I discovered anthropology and dreamed of becoming an archaeologist. I put that off to someday and set off into social work.
I've had three careers so far: child welfare, corporate training and development, and career coaching. Each transition may have looked like a flounder to those watching, especially my mother, who grew frustrated that I couldn't figure out a direction, even into my 40s. Within that last industry alone, I've evolved from coach to writer to personal branding strategist and back to writer, now blending writing, branding, and strategic advising. And I’m not done yet. I have not fully bloomed.
The truth is, I used to get silently angry when my mother announced my late bloomer status. We loved each other deeply and got along famously well for two women who were different in significant ways. My mother was efficient, shaped by a generation that required practicality for survival. I am not practical—never have been, never will be. I felt misunderstood, different from everyone else in my family, living a life that looked nothing like theirs.
My teenage years were filled with drama- and more drama, to the point that my poor mother was at a loss for what to do with me. Every effort to get me to focus on practical matters ended in tears and my stubborn determination to do exactly the opposite of what she wanted.
My dad tried to get her to step back, let me be me. He seemed to get me. Was more willing to let me figure things out. My mother, and I knew it was from a place of love, wanted me to fall into the expected path of marriage and family.
But ultimately, it was not what I wanted. And so she waited. Waited for me to finally bloom into the flower she hoped I would be.
But perhaps that defiance was my compass pointing toward authenticity all along.
Reframing the Late Bloomer Journey
Research consistently shows that what mainstream culture calls "late blooming" often yields extraordinary benefits that early achievers may never discover. Dr. Rich Karlgaard, author of "Late Bloomers: The Power of Patience in a World Obsessed with Early Achievement," identifies several advantages that resonate deeply with my own experience:
Greater self-awareness and clarity of purpose develop through our extended exploration. While others rush toward predetermined goals, we take time to understand who we truly are beneath societal expectations.
Accumulated life experiences become a rich foundation for our eventual calling. Every seemingly "wrong" turn contributes to a deeper understanding of life's complexity and our place within it.
Increased resilience and adaptability come from navigating uncertainty for extended periods. We learn to thrive in ambiguity because we've had no choice but to become comfortable without knowing what's next.
More developed emotional intelligence emerges from years of introspection and varied experiences. We understand human nature, our own and others', in ways that come only through patient observation and self-reflection.
Less pressure to conform to societal timelines allows us to make choices based on internal wisdom rather than external expectations. We've already disappointed people with our unconventional timing, so we're freer to follow our authentic path.
Unique perspectives and innovation arise from our diverse experiences and willingness to question conventional wisdom. We bring fresh eyes to fields that others approach through single-minded focus.
Dismantling the Myths That Diminish Us
Society perpetuates several destructive misconceptions about those of us who don't follow traditional timelines:
The myth that we lack talent or ambition ignores the reality that we often possess unique talents and strong drive, but need time to discover our true passions and find the right opportunities to showcase our abilities. Our extended search isn't about lacking direction—it's about refusing to settle for paths that don't align with our deepest selves.
The myth that success after 30 is unlikely crumbles when we consider that many Nobel Prize winners, entrepreneurs, and innovative leaders made their most significant contributions later in life. Vera Wang didn't enter fashion until 40. Laura Ingalls Wilder didn't publish her first Little House book until 65. Our diverse experiences and accumulated wisdom often prove invaluable in ways that early specialization cannot match.
The myth that we're somehow "behind" in life assumes that personal growth and success follow linear timelines. But authenticity doesn't operate on society's schedule. Our extended period of exploration often leads to a clearer understanding of our goals and values, resulting in more fulfilling and purposeful choices.
The myth that we lack focus or direction misunderstands our introspective nature. Many of us are highly reflective, using the time others spend climbing predetermined ladders to develop profound self-awareness. We're not practical in the traditional sense. We're visionaries, dreamers, deep thinkers who refuse to accept surface-level answers. My mother often chided me for "thinking too much" instead of doing, for being impractical when the world demanded practicality. Yet here I am, more excited about my future than ever before, precisely because I honored that impractical, contemplative nature.
The myth that we can't compete with early achievers overlooks our unique strengths: resilience, adaptability, broader perspective, and hard-won wisdom. These qualities often give us competitive advantages that narrow expertise cannot provide.
The myth that late blooming signifies failure completely misses the value of our learning experiences and personal growth. Our journeys are marked by valuable insights and evolving self-understanding that contribute to greater wisdom when we do find our calling.
Dr. Angela Duckworth's research on grit reveals that passion and perseverance toward long-term goals are more important than early achievement. For late bloomers, our apparent "wandering" often represents a deeper form of persistence - the determination to find work and life paths that truly fit, rather than settling for what's expected or immediately available.
The Awakening: Embracing Your Authentic Timeline
As I sit in this space between what was and what's coming, I feel more whole and complete than I ever have. My business is about to undergo a transformation, and I can sense that good things are on the horizon. At 61, I'm not looking back with regret or forward with anxiety. I'm present with anticipation.
The journey of constant searching, of being multifaceted rather than simply "late," has led me to this moment of clarity about my new professional focus. I've never felt as complete as I do now, preparing to launch my BRIDGE Framework (soon to be trademarked). Every previous chapter—child welfare, corporate training, career coaching, writing—has contributed essential elements to this culmination.
There are still moments when I wish I could have followed the well-worn path of marriage, children, and grandchildren. It’s comfortable and relatable. The predictable life sounds so peaceful in its certainty. But embracing what my life actually is, this constant search for what's next, has become my greatest gift to myself and to others who walk similar paths.
Psychologist Dr. Sherry Turkle's research on authentic self-presentation shows that those who take longer to define themselves often develop stronger, more integrated identities. We're not behind, we're thorough. We're not unfocused, we're comprehensive. We're not late, we're exactly on time for our own unique contribution to the world.
Your Time Is Now
If you're reading this as someone who has felt behind, lost, or unsure of your direction, I want you to know that your time hasn't passed—it's arriving. The depth of experience you carry, the resilience you've built, and the self-knowledge you've earned through patient exploration are not consolation prizes for missing some arbitrary timeline. They are your unique qualifications for whatever comes next.
At 61, I'm more excited about my future than I was at 21, 31, or 41. I know who I am in ways that only come through living fully and questioning deeply. I trust my instincts because I've tested them across multiple domains. I value authenticity because I've experienced the cost of living according to others' expectations.
Your late blooming isn't a delay—it's preparation. Your multifaceted journey isn't confusion—it's comprehensive education. Your refusal to settle isn't indecision—it's wisdom.
A Deeper Dive: Celebrating Your Multifaceted Journey
✨ Bonus Resource Just for You! ✨
This week's Deeper Dive: Celebrating Your Multifaceted Journey” is designed as a companion to the essay.
I'm providing this as a separate, downloadable and fillable resource so you can easily save it, print it, or return to it anytime, no scrolling back through the article required. Additionally, paid subscribers can access all the worksheets in one place by clicking the "Fearless Authenticity Toolkit" tab. This is my small thank-you to you, my fellow travelers, for being part of this journey.
Daily Mantra
Let this mantra remind you that every interaction is an opportunity to practice being genuinely, spontaneously human rather than a perfectly programmed version of yourself.
"My journey has been perfectly timed to bring me exactly where I need to be, with exactly the wisdom I need to offer the world."
Repeat this mantra daily as a reminder to check in with your authentic self before making decisions or responding to external expectations.
Moving Forward
As you continue to navigate social expectations and personal choices, remember that your path is uniquely yours. Embrace the journey, celebrate your accomplishments, and surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.
Join me each Sunday at 10:10 a.m. ET for inspiration, encouragement, and community. Why 1010? In numerology, 1010 symbolizes new beginnings, spiritual awakening, and the realization of our potential.
“We're not behind, we're thorough. We're not unfocused, we're comprehensive. We're not late, we're exactly on time for our own unique contribution to the world.” This resonates with me. Thank you for sharing this great article.
So happy it resonated with you! It is crucial not to let others influence our journey - especially when we are on a path that differs from everyone else's. It's better because it's our path!